Habit or story lies?
I’ve convinced myself of many myths and one of them is I don’t like routines, habits. This has led to many an argument as I’ve convinced myself I don’t like being told what to do. However, the person whom I maybe having that discussion with (mostly Hubster) is not giving instruction just their opinion. Big fat misunderstanding by me. (I have to be right another self-myth actually). I like being incorrect as it gives me my self-permission slip to go research and that’s a deep joy of mine, finding out information, searching, reading, exploring, digging around. Curiosity is a huge part of me being me.
So, this Story Lie to myself is I don’t like routine, habit or structure is I actually have lived most of my life with it. Doh. Drinking was my biggest and worst self-destructive habit and routine self-justified and validated by moi, choosing this bad habit. Habits are actually neither good or bad they are consistent choices we make that have an outcome we either like (at the time) or not.
The question I have asked myself is how I have given up so much bad shitty routines, habits, behaviours and then can’t seem to get started on the ones I tell myself I really want to do. I have thought about this a lot.
The stuff I have done that still amazes me are:
· Gave up smoking after 16 years
· Gave up drinking after 25+ years
· Started exercising regularly
The smoking and drinking were done through the fear of death, literally. My experience of both slightly different yet excessive in both areas also driven by my power of stubbornness. Yet Fear was the driver for both. Not being there for the girls (at the time didn’t have moo then) and leaving them orphaned and the drink I literally thought I was rotting from the inside and I don’t want to die- not quite yet. Death that’s another wonderful topic isn’t it.
So, stubbornness and fear contribute to me stopping doing things I don’t necessarily want to, I liked drinking and smoking. Actually, did yet knew that they were not the best for me.
I have wanted to “get into” exercise a lot, I talk about, do it for a couple (maximum before this past year has been 6 weeks!) and then give it up with the best excuses – I have even feigned injury to stop too! Yet I kept asking myself if I can give up two big huge things then why the hell can’t I stick at bloody exercising a bit everyday?
Now this exercise’y bit. I actually don’t get that pheromone rush after exercise; the hubster gets like a power surge. I just feel exhausted for the rest of the day. What I get from doing the activity is what I am doing. I walk, hike and now have started running (for the past few weeks building up slow and steady) so I the bit of working out is I am doing.
1. Something I actually like
2. I get to listen to audio books which I LOVE
3. I am outside which I love
Solved this mystery! So, if I act like I am either shit scared of it or tag it to something I like hey presto, I am doing, smashing those stories lie and self-myths and actually doing something good for me, better me. (Check out James Clear Atomic Habits he calls this habit stacking)
Other stuff I’ve done that means I can do whatever I put my mind to and stop talking codswollop to myself and feeding the myths.
· First drink of everyday is lemon and hot water- this is my first drink no matter what.
· Take liquid collagen (tastes shit by the way), and vitamins everyday they are lovely we have Nourished (3D printed no less!) No ad just what we take.
On reflection reading this back its amazing the absolute crap we tell ourselves that we can and can’t do. The ability to validate our bad or unhelpful choices is a skill, imagine if we applied this skill to doing the good stuff. Lesson being self-taught here!
Over and out (2/365) persistent and consistent.
